Lately I’ve been on the verge of a shift. I’ve experienced a lot of them over the years – new living situations, new careers, new relationships. But this one is different. It’s like there’s a part of me that’s about to burst through and experience the world differently.
The possibility of what it can be like feels liberating. There’s no more fear of what others will think. No more shakiness in my body. No more second thoughts about what I’m about to say or the decisions I’m about to make. It’s just an expression of my truth with confidence and ease.
I’ve always referred to this state as ‘expanding into my full power.’ Each person may have a different image or experience of what this can look like for them. I’ve often seen it as my warrior self who’s finally ready to take center stage.
The Missing Link
Recently, though, this image has felt incomplete. In fact it’s left me resisting this new experience. But isn’t this what I’ve always wanted? To have the warrior stance? To experience a greater freedom of expression wherever I am?
I decided to explore my resistance and see what was up.
Eventually what came to me was a bit unexpected. It wasn’t that of an action hero waiting to pop out of my chest. Instead it was the image of a vulnerable side of me that was finally ready to show itself. It was like a little boy knocking on the door and wondering when it was safe to come out.
And with that image I suddenly realized what had been missing all along. I had been just expecting this superhero figure to burst on through at any moment. He would be a strong, confident and powerful presence. But I forgot about the little boy who would need to accompany him. I would need to create a safe space, so to speak, for him to step out and join the rest of me in the journey.
I can tell that this little boy has been waiting for just the right conditions to finally show up. He’s a part of me that has been hiding for many years. A little boy that’s full of love and compassion but worried that, if he fully shows himself, others could put him down. That if he really expresses his full truth and vision for the world, he would get trampled on and never come back out again.
The Magic Key
When I talked to this little boy, he told me that what was needed to fully accompany the rest of me on this journey was just one thing. Love. But not just love for others, but love and care for him. He wanted me to be kind to him even if I didn’t do or say things perfectly in my work, with my friends or in the public realm. And in return he would give me the permission to move forward with a powerful strength and presence. I would be able to speak my truth with compassion wherever I was. I would be able to contribute my gifts and bring them out more fully into my work, on a public stage and in a way that was bigger than I had ever imagined.
It was a huge revelation to finally see this: that what’s going to allow me to fully stand in my power is to be kind to the part of me that wants to burst on through and love. Not to go out and ‘fight’ or ‘resist’ the imperfections of the world, or within myself. But to love them all, while also expressing my truth with a powerful and compassionate presence.
And what this little boy wanted from me all along was just to make sure that the conditions were right for him to more fully stand with me in this journey. To be kind to him, and all the other parts of me, in the midst of the beauty and wonder of life’s imperfections.
What are the parts of yourself that want to be more fully seen and understand? What do you feel it will take to more fully expand into your power?